What do you wear to meet the people who gave birth to for for the first time? Back in 2007 the only thing I ever really wore was jeans and band shirts. For some reason I figured that wasn’t appropriate enough. Then again, what is? I went to Forever 21 and bought a few nice shirts but at last minute I decided, screw it. This wasn’t a job interview. I decided on skinny jeans, a silver beaded spaghetti strap tank top, and some ballet flats. Two of my three tattoos were showing, one of which was on my chest. I realized they should meet the real me, no point in hiding myself. 

It was a hot day in NYC in July. I stood on Rivington Street, outside of the cafe I chose, looking for a woman who resembled myself. Soon enough I saw a thin woman with dark brown hair in a sundress approaching. I looked at her, looked back down at my very pale skin, and thought, “She’s way too dark to be my birthmother.” “Alison?” I was wrong, it was her. We introduced ourselves… do you know I can’t even remember if we shook hands or hugged? I feel like we shook hands. In my wildest dreams I always fantasized that we’d have the huge, teary-eyed reunion but surprisingly enough no tears were shed that day.  

We went into the cafe to wait for my birthfather. I knew, since I could remember, that they were no longer together. My mom had told me they broke up while my birthmother was pregnant with me but I didn’t know much about them currently. My birthmother asked why I chose the cafe we were in. I replied, “They have the best cake.” However, we did not stay long enough to have the cake. My birthfather walked in and apparently my birthmother had other ideas. I’ll refer to them as Jane and Jon from here.

We walked North from the East Village and stopped at the Marble Cemetery. Jane told me it was the oldest cemetery in Manhattan and she thought it was so beautiful and serene. She joked about how I could go tell my friends that my mother brought me to a cemetery when we first met. As we continued walking I told them the little I knew about them from the few documents I had about my adoption. Things like their hobbies and interests. Jon had wrote down Philosophy and Tennis. They told me they had no idea what to write at the time and, I suppose, they didn’t really consider the fact that this would be the only link I had to their personalities my whole life. Back then they were still fairly new to this country and Jon hardly spoke English. 

Jon told me he did, and still does, enjoy Philosophy and loves reading. He graduated from Columbia Film School as a Film major. My Birthmother went to FIT to become a fashion designer. They both worked and went to school full time while Jane was pregnant with me. We arrived at St. Mark’s place, ironically, a place where I spent lots of time as a teenager. I would take the bus to the city with my friends and roam around. Apparently it was also one of Jane’s favorite spots. She chose a place to eat and we talked more. I explained how hard it was to find them, how my adoption agency would give me absolutely no identifying information. They were both shocked. They had been under the impression that when I turned 18 I would be allowed to see the information and find them. My mother had thought the same thing as well. I don’t know what the agency said back then to make both parties believe this to be the case.

We moved to a restaurant a few doors down and had dessert. There they told me the story of how they escaped Communist Czechoslovakia. It was an amazing story that would take a whole separate post to share but basically they left without telling their families in order to protect them from the government. Once in Cyprus the US took them in as refugees. They moved to Manhattan and lived in housing provided to them by the US government. Jane explained how they never had any sex education and finding out she was pregnant was a complete shock. At the time they both worked and attended school full time. They lived in an apartment the size of a closet and despite their efforts they were pretty broke. Word got to my birth mothers employer that a friend of a friend and her husband were looking to adopt and both sets of my parents met through my adoption agency. The rest is history.

Words cannot describe how it felt walking with my parents through my favorite part of NYC with the sun shining. This moment that I always imagined, that I never thought would happen. The absolute happiness, serenity, just a feeling of… being complete. I get butterflies in my stomach just thinking about it. 

I am horrible! I just realized that the last time I updated this was almost a year ago… PATHETIC! Although, I really hate exploring my feelings so I have to be in a certain mood to write these and that mood is very rare. I am so sorry for the delay… for the few of you actually reading it… I will make sure it’s out this week!